Blog Week 76: Edited highlights with no holds barred.

Sunday 6 May 22.56

Too Kool and Mockney were working very hard on Friday to finalise the footage and start the editing of the office video. They sounded like they were having a great time; there was a laughter around the office wherever they went.

Probably against his true artistic instincts, Shakespeare has been hands off so far about the video. He is in the middle of a very intense matter at the moment and cannot spare the time. But he is quite anxious that the whole thing is a success. He remains responsible and so the video will reflect on him.

He bumped into Mockney on Friday lunchtime and enquired how everything was going. Mockney promised the edited highlights screening (tomorrow) will be a pleasant surprise.

Monday 7 May 23.56

Hairy is not happy. Too Kool and Mockney are not happy either.

Mockney spent today (and even a bit of yesterday) editing the highlights. He became so engrossed that he went beyond merely editing those into producing a final, polished video.

Due to work pressure, Shakespeare is now no longer responsible for the video. That has passed to Hairy Potter.

I was walking past the conference room this evening, as they were about to show their visual masterpiece to her, when Hairy called me in to get my opinion. I could see Too Kool and Mockney were both quietly confident and looking forward to receiving her seal of approval.

The video was in two parts. The first part was Mockney in front of the camera acting like a CNN-type journalist, asking various superficial questions to different members of staff. Some of the repartee was funny and it appeared (to me) quite spontaneous. Then in the second part Too Kool became a Discovery Channel/David Attenborough type talking about how our office was like a zoo with each lawyer in his/her office representing a particular animal in a cage. She wandered around some people's offices, occasionally with the occupant present, making sharp comments about the type of animal they would be based on their "living" habits. Again it was well done, with animal noises (lion's roar, monkey cries etc) thrown in. I was half expecting Bill to swing in, Tarzan-like, beat his chest, scoop up Barbie and swing away.

In my humble opinion, the whole thing was hilarious: slickly edited; sufficiently tongue-in-cheek and yet informative.

But Hairy was agahst. She called the video patronising; insulting to our office and our US colleagues. Apparently it showed everyone in a bad light and would have to be done again - from scratch.

Mockney didn't say anything, but Too Kool started to defend the video. Hairy cut her off immediately. As she got up to leave she told them they had to redo it and to do it properly.

Too Kool and Mockney sat there feeling deflated and annoyed. I tried to be sympathetic but what could I say? It is sad particularly as I suspect Shakespeare would have really liked it.

Tuesday 8 May 22.48

Too Kool and Mockney are now doing a really factual and boring video. They are filling up the alloted time with dull interviews of everyone in the office. It is the artistic equivalent of a "go-slow" protest.

Too Kool's frustration is so evident. As she was interviewing me today she sounded like she could not care less and kept looking out of the window. I made a suggestion about her camera style and she snapped back: "If anyone can do it better they can do it themselves."

Thursday 10 May 22.37

Things with the video get worse.

This afternoon Mockney was walking past the kitchen while looking through the camera viewfinder. Paranoid happened to be in the doorway and assumed Mockney was filming her. She told him to delete the footage of her. He said he had not been filming her. She did not believe him. He would not show her the recorded footage. So she tried to grab the camera and they started grappling with each other. Somehow someone slipped and they were both then on the floor, with Mockney trying to protect the camera.

For an awful second it looked like it would turn into a wrestling match. Like something from a school playground. No rules, no holds barred. But luckily both Mockney and Paranoid were too shocked at finding themselves on the floor and let go of each other. As they were getting up Weirdo materialised from no where and started berating Mockney. That woman can sense trouble like a shark detecting blood thousands of kilometres across the ocean.

Mockney slunk off, looking quite dejected. Last week's joy and laughter all seems a long way away now.


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