Blog Week 59: Exit strategies.

Sunday 7 January 22.36

Friday lunchtime I walked into the kitchen. Paranoid, Weirdo and Hedgehog were there but they didn't hear me enter. Weirdo was talking and it took me a couple of seconds to realise she was talking about me: basically complaining about my promotion. Who was I? How come I had got preferential treatment? You can imagine the rest.

I stood still for a little while wondering what to do next. Because I had a choice: fight or flight? Normally I am not the sort of person to instinctively go for confrontation. But I heard someone approaching the kitchen and so had to make a quick decision. I coughed loudly and slowly, but purposefully and then started walking over towards them. They heard me, turned round and Weirdo immediately panicked.

I didn't get the chance to say anything before she had fled the kitchen. Parnoid and Hedgehog just looked shame-faced. I smiled, took a drink and left.

Neither fight nor flight. Only a graceful exit.

Monday 8 January 22.09

My new, temporary boss was supposed arrive today. No sign of him though. The office was pretty much back to normal as most people had returned. The only exceptions were the sensible single people who have worked the last couple of weeks and are now taking their off-peak holidays. The right time to leave really.

Tuesday 9 January 23.11

As I approached my office this morning I heard Mockney laughing with someone, As I walked in I heard my new boss asking Mockney about the "hot babes" in the office. They stopped talking when they noticed me. I seem to have that effect on people at the moment...

Mockney disappeared (still not yet found out what he was doing in my office) and my new boss introduced himself and said we should get to know each other. We made small talk as we proceeded to his/Pierre's office. But the only thought bouncing around my mind was how confusing he appeared. He has the body of Stan Laurel and the face of Oliver Hardy. He was telling me about how hard it was to say goodbye to his wife and kids and travel to Brussels this morning. I didn't really hear much of what he said; I just kept nodding and thinking what to call him.

Then it came to me: Laurel & Hardy. A strange name for one person but it just seems right. I felt more settled - like some order has been restored to my little office world.

L&H seems friendly. He explained he agreed to this temporary secondment to help out the firm in it's "hour of need". That seemed like a slight exaggeration as it is hardly as if we are in a crisis (unless yet again something is happening and I don't know about it). L&H explained he will be commuting in on Monday mornings and leaving on Friday afternoons. But will of course always be available via his Blackberry.

Our meeting didn't last much longer as Bill walked in looking really angry. Not like Bill at all. My sixth sense told me I should make a quick exit. As I closed the office door behind me I caught a few words about a problem that had "blown up".

I'm sure I'll be the last to know.

Thursday 11 January 23.41

There was a fire alarm practice in office nearby today. I could see it all from my office. Slowly they started to assemble on the pavement. No wanted to leave the building. The weather was so damn awful today. Someone was standing, shouting, complaining about how slow they had all been. They heard, rather than listened, and then all charged back in again.


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